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The first step in hair care is your diet and the two most important things in your diet are iron and protein. The hair cells are the fastest growing cells in the body but they are also the first ones to be affected you don't eat right or suffer with deficiencies because they are not required for survival.
Product recommendations are listed in the link below.
Understanding what your hair needs will be a deal breaker when selecting a shampoo and conditioner.
Now, with that being said; just because you're using all the right products and consuming all the right food does not mean your hair is in its best state of health.
You should be getting your ends trimmed 4 times a year (every season). If you are finding to be in need of a haircut sooner (other than maintaining a shorter length) you and/or your hairstylist are not getting enough of the dead hair off.
Also, please be aware that you should be treating your extensions with the same care.
As for how often you should be shampooing, it depends on your up keep. No one should be shampooing their hair everyday. Shampooing too often will clean your scalp and hair; however, researchers prove that doing so will strip your hair of its own natural oils causing your hair to be dry which results in breakage. Switch to every other day while using dry shampoo in between days. And ALWAYS use conditioner at the end of every shampoo.
More tips for all hair types
Investing in a silk pillow to prevent breakage.
Always use heat protectant before styling.
Deep condition (or add a protein treatment) your hair twice a month to keep your hair soft and supple.
Cut down on the use of hairdryers, curling irons, etc.
Claw clips and soft scrunchies are best. No rubber bands or elastic bands.